


Matchmaker

by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gabriel helps or hurts, Gen, Leviathans, mention of Dean/Castiel, season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 15:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2513270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An encounter with Gabriel rarely bodes well. Sam thinks it isn't so bad this time. Dean disagrees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

> Back before I wrote 'Sympathy for the Devil (and Dean Winchester)' I got started on this little fic. I just re-discovered it, and figured it makes an okay little one-shot fic.

** Matchmaker **

“This is easily the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me.”

At the sound of someone talking Dean spun around to face the intruder, but as he registered _who_ he was looking at, he gaped.

“Well, maybe not if we’re including that thing with the horse,” Gabriel continued, blithely uncaring of Dean’s shocked state, “but it definitely makes the top five.”

Dean found his voice.

“ _Gabriel?_ I thought you were supposed to be dead!”

Gabriel simply raised an eyebrow at him.

“That’s because I was, bucko. However, it turns out Dad still has a purpose for me.” The archangel raised his eyes to the ceiling with a put-upon expression. “Apparently I get to play the part of your magical fairy godmother.”

There were so many things wrong with that sentence that Dean didn’t know where to start.

“…what?”

“You know, Cinderella, I have to help you get together with Prince Charming so you can both live Happily Ever After,” Gabriel summarised. This didn’t much help.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about–” Dean began. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“I’m talking about _Castiel,_ you moron.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Ah, I thought that would get a reaction.” Gabriel grinned smugly while Dean spluttered. “Dear old Dad wants me to supervise your touching little love story and bring it some resolution, since the two of you are idiots who can’t seem to manage it yourselves.”

“Me and Cas are _not_ like that!” Dean yelled.

Gabriel sighed.

“Oh boy, you’re completely clueless. I’ve got my work cut out for me on this one.”

“ _I am not gay,_ ” Dean insisted furiously, through clenched teeth.

“Of course not,” Gabriel agreed easily. Too easily. “One exception doesn’t completely invalidate your sexuality, you know. It’s only Castiel you’re ga-ga over. And you know, technically, he isn’t even a man. He just looks like one, because everyone knew how you’d react to a woman telling you what to do.”

Dean closed his eyes and tried to hold on to his temper. He didn’t know if the angel was sincere or this was some kind of trick, but either way he wasn’t getting through to the archangel.

“Come on, Castiel’s all googly-eyed about you too, you know.”

“Okay, first of all, Cas is a little insane right now,” Dean said wearily. “The last time I saw him he showed up on my car, naked, covered in bees.”

Gabriel beamed at him. 

“See! _That’s_ a hint if I ever saw one!”

“Secondly,” Dean persisted, desperately trying to hold onto his flagging patience, “even if _any_ of this was true – _which it isn’t_ – we kind of have more pressing problems right now. You know, like _Leviathans?_ ”

Dean was kind of hoping this would do the trick and get Gabriel off his case, but the archangel just waved a dismissive hand.

“No problem. I’ve got that covered. _Really,_ ” he added, when Dean looked sceptical. “I killed them the first time around, I can do it again, easy. So stop worrying your pretty little head over it, and focus on the important things. Namely, Castiel.”

Dean ran a hand over his face in frustration. It was at that precise moment that the door opened as Sam returned with food.

“Dean, I got–” Sam stopped short as he noticed the archangel. “The hell? Gabriel?”

“Sam-a-lam!” Gabriel smiled expansively at him. “Great! You can help me work out how to get your bro and my bro together, because right now I’m getting nowhere.”

Dean gave an exasperated groan.

Sam paused to consider the situation. Then he put the food down on the table and turned to face the archangel.

“Okay, back up a minute. The last time we saw you was on the DVD – which was scarring, by the way, so thanks for that – telling us you were dead. What are you doing here?”

“Sam, I’m on a mission from God,” Gabriel intoned. “To get Dean here and little Castiel together so they can live happily ever after, killing and smiting things.” He rolled his eyes. “Not the best assignment I’ve ever had, but Dad _did_ resurrect me, and no one’s hit me with a broom yet or refused to believe I’m an angel, so that’s at least an improvement over my last two assignments.”

“What were they?” Sam inquired, because he had no damn sense of priorities.

Gabriel smiled.

“Bringing tidings of great joy to Mary, and then to her cousin and her cousin’s husband. It was a while back. I don’t personally get sent on missions very often. I’m more of an interdepartmental memos kind of guy.”

“And God sent you to sort out Dean and Cas’ personal rom-com,” Sam said seriously, but Dean could hear the laughter in his voice.

“ _Sam!_ ” he bellowed.  “This isn’t funny! Dude is insane!”

Gabriel gestured at him, looking long-suffering.

“See what I have to put up with?” he asked Sam.

Sam nodded.

“Yeah, he’s stubborn. But you know, so’s Cas, so…”

“ _I will end you,_ ” Dean threatened his brother, while Gabriel said happily, “I _know,_ right? MFEO. Anyway, I need to go deal with those pesky Leviathan, but when I get back, we can work on sorting out these knuckleheads. Agreed?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam agreed.

“Great. I’ll be back soon, gentlemen.” With that Gabriel snapped himself away.

Sam sat down on his bed and laughed until he was in stitches, while Dean threw a pillow at him. It didn’t stop the laughter.

“What am I supposed to do?” Dean asked angrily, and a little desperately. “First we’ve got Cas losing it, and now _Gabriel’s_ on my ass with some fucked-up idea about – _dammit, Sam, stop laughing!_ ”

Sam wiped at his streaming eyes and made a creditable effort to straighten his face. It lasted for all of two seconds before he let out an enormous, horse-like snort, and was off again.

“I’m sorry, Dean!” he almost wailed. “But come on, this is hilarious! Gabriel’s back, and why? To arrange a happy fairytale ending for you and Cas!”

Dean didn’t punch him, but it was a close call.


End file.
